The last several months have been…a whirlwind. That seems to be the word I most often come back to.
In that whirlwind, life has been crazy active, super joyous, very gratifying, and intensely inspirational. However, it has also been quite challenging, overwhelming, frustrating, sad, and downright painful.
And through that whirlwind, here I am.
My marriage ended. I moved (albeit next-door to my previous home). Another year of teaching ended. My career path shifted - like BIG! Relationships changed. My family’s resilience was tested. I cried a lot. I questioned my purpose. I questioned positivity and optimism. I was gifted with grace from others. I was blessed to realize I had a great deal to be grateful for.
A few weeks ago, I watched a video about motivation and hesitation. After watching it, I believe my lesson from the whirlwind was revealed. And that lesson is, if my truth matters to me, I need to live it.
I am not suggesting the mistakes I’ve made, the wrongs I’ve done, the people I’ve disappointed were all the result of me not living my truth. I own that I knowingly made bad decisions in my life - probably will make a few more. But I also believe I gave myself time, space, and attention to confront, understand, learn, and grow from them. That will be a forever kind of deal.
Now back to living my truth. I realized I am turning a page, beginning a new chapter in my life. With that, I made a conscious agreement with myself to make healthier decisions in all areas of my life. And I cannot do this without first being truthful with myself and then with others.
Simply put, live truthfully, no matter what.
It’s the “no matter what” part that makes it so tricky. I recognized how I was allowing fear of the unknown to deny myself of my worthiness in the now. It just clicked. I can no longer allow perceived reactions of others or hypothetical outcomes to deter me of living my truth in the present moment.
I also realized living your truth does not have to be confrontational. You can express it in a thoughtful manner. Think about it lovingly. Speak it politely. Live it compassionately.
In the video, Mel Robbins discusses how we are wired to protect ourselves. In other words, the neuroscience of fear. Therefore, once your brain detects your uneasiness about anything, it does all it can to protect you. In that moment, many of us decide not to do something. You know, the big put off. The, “I’ll wait till I'm really ready.” Or my favorite, “Timing is everything. It’ll happen when it’s supposed to happen.”
As of late, I have been denying the hesitation and instead, consciously reminding myself of my truth and why it matters to me. It has been nerve-racking at times, but it has also felt so freeing. And yes, sometimes hesitation still wins.
The short of it, my relationship with my ex-wife is blossoming into something beautiful, my career is moving in a very exciting direction, my interactions with others have improved, but most important, I am focused on accepting my truth….so I can live my truth.
Stay tuned…