We yearn for what was. We fear what hasn’t happened. And we tend to loop inner dialogues based on both.

If you’re hurting, then hurt. But also give yourself an opportunity to heal. When you relive what has hurt you in the past, you ignore what can heal you in the present. Your hurt will only last as long as you give it energy. The clear message is that you do have something or someone in your life to be grateful for. Yes you do. Remind yourself, as often as you want/need.

Accept the hurt and accept the healing. I know we can’t control every thought that pops into our minds, BUT we CAN consciously decide what to do after a thought. This is true for every moment of your life. Therefore, the beauty is you can choose healthy, healing thinking and behavior whenever you want, such as: gratitude journaling, positive self-messaging, therapy/counseling, meditation, yoga, exercise, walk, travel, a forgotten hobby, a warm bath, reading, etc. I’ve deiced to do 20 pushups whenever I consciously engage in a hurtful thought or behavior. Bonus: my pecs desperately needed the attention,

I know the ache can be debilitating which can also cloud all of your senses. In these states, we also doubt the possibility and bliss of love. So, we give even more space to the hurt and build a wall to love. Your healing can be so restorative. The journey to healing can present lessons and gifts you never could have imagined.

But first, you need to commit to self-love. To heal, you must love yourself.

words: Michael Barata / image: Designecologist